文章由 小地震 » 2005-05-30, 01:46
這段是Delia在離家追尋自我一年後，為了女兒的婚禮返家，和丈夫Sam的對話。Sam回想自己認識Delia的經過，和決定娶她的原因。但Sam話鋒一轉，在Delia的預料外，開始談起Delia為何要離家，他自問是不是自己哪裡不小心做錯，讓妻子失望：
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[color=darkred]"When you left," he said, "The police were sympathetic at first. But then they figured out you'd left of your own accord, and I could see them beginning to wonder. Well, you can't blame them. I was wondering myself. I asked Eliza, when she came back from seeing you: 'Was it me? Did I have any part in it?' Maybe I hadb't phrased it right about that man friend of yours. Or I nagged too muchabout sunblock, or you hated how my chest hair had grayed. Or the angina; I know the agina business must have gotten tedious."[/color]
[color=darkblue]「妳走了之後，」他說，「警察剛開始對我很同情，但是等他們知道妳是出於自己的意願而離開之後，就開始懷疑我了。其實這也不能怪他們，連我自己都開始懷疑我自己了。伊萊莎去看妳回來之後，[b]我就不停地問她：是不是因為我的關係？跟我有沒有關係？[/b]也許是因為我在談到妳的那個男性朋友的時候措詞不當；也許是因為我管太多了，硬要妳擦防曬油；還是因為妳不喜歡見到我的胸毛變白了；或是因為我的心絞痛的關係。我知道我的心絞痛讓妳很厭煩」[/color]
[color=darkred]"......The thing of it is," he said, "you ask yourself enough questions - was it this I did wrong, was it that? - and you get to believing you did it [i]all[/i] wrong. Your whole damn life. But now that I'm nearing the end of it, I seem to be going too fast to stopand change. I'm just......[i]skidding[/i] to the end of it."[/color]
[color=darkblue]「這就好像，」山姆說，「你不停地問自己：[b]是不是我做錯了這個？還是我做錯了那個？然後你發覺自己根本沒有一件事做對，這一生中沒有一件事做對！[/b]而現在生命越接近終點，腳步就越快，快得忘了停下來作些改變。我簡直在快速地滑向人生的盡頭」[/color]
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Delia晚上，躺在女兒的床上睡覺時，腦海浮現的思緒。她計畫隔天中午女兒的婚禮結束後，請先生Sam送她去坐車，卻不知怎麼地，思緒從明天的計畫轉成她對自己二十年的婚姻生活的註解。這是整部小說我最喜歡的一段。
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[color=darkred]She saw herself riding in the passenger seat, Sam behind the wheel. Like twp of those little peg people in a toy car. Husband peg, wife peg, side by side. Facing the road and not looking at each other; for why they need to, really, having gone beyond the visible surface long ago. No hope of admiring gazes anymore, no chance of unremitting adoration. Nothing left to show but their plain, true, homely, interior selves, ehch were actually much richer anyhow.[/color]
[color=darkblue]她想像自己坐在駕駛座旁，而山姆專心開著車，他們像是玩具車裡的兩個人形，直視前方的路，互不相看，畢竟根本不需要了，因為他們老早就已經超越彼此的外表。[b]過去那種欣賞和愛慕的眼神已不復存在，映在彼此眼底的只剩下對方那平凡而真實的內在自我，那隨著歲月的累積，而更形豐富的內在自我[/b]。[/color]
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之後，Delia走下床，悄悄地走到先生的房間，「感覺到山姆還醒著」。
[color=darkred]She whispered, "Sam?"
"Yes," he said.
"You know that letter you wrote me in Bay Borough."
"Yes."
"Well, what was the line you crossed out?"
He stirred beneath the bedclothes. "Oh," he said, "I crossed out so many lines. That letter was a mess."
"I mean the very last line. The one you put so many x's through I couldn't possibly read it."
He didn't answer at first. Then he said, "I forgot."
Her impulse was to stand up and leave, but she forced herself to stay. She sat motionless, waiting and waiting.
"I think," He said finally, "that maybe it was...well, something like what Driscoll was wondering earlier. Was there anything that would, you know. Would persuade you to come back."
She said, "Oh, Sam. All you had to do was ask."
Then he turned toward her, and Delia slipped under the blankets and he drew her close against him. Although, in fact, he still had not asked. Not in so many words.[/color]
[color=darkblue]她看著黑暗中山姆的臉，輕聲地叫著：「山姆？」
「啊？」他回答。
「你記不記得寫給我的那封信？」
「嗯。」
「你劃掉的那一行寫的是什麼？」
他在被子底下動了動身體，然後說：「喔，我劃掉了好多行，那封信寫得亂七八糟。」
「我是說最後一行，你劃了好多個X在上面，我沒辦法看出來。」
山姆沒有馬上回答，過了一會兒他才說：「我忘了。」
蒂莉亞的直覺反應是起身走開，不過她強迫自己坐定，靜靜地等著。
「我想，」山姆最後終於說，「可能是......，就像雷瑟當時在想的，有沒有什麼辦法可以說得動你，讓妳願意回來。」
蒂莉亞立刻說：「喔，山姆，只要你說一聲，我就回來了。」
山姆把身體轉向她，蒂莉亞滑進被窩裡，然後山姆把她拉過去。但是他終究還是沒說，沒有用言語來說。[/color]
生命的刀子刻下，不完美，卻也沒有敗筆 ，你我都是帶著殘缺的美麗靈魂。
小地震哈這套書很久了，一直要我立遺囑把這套書傳給他。 
不過，在我安息主懷之前，先貼出來讓他心癢一下 
書都已經出了半年多，才在平面媒體宣傳，不知道是破報沒稿源，還是出版社的宣傳策略？
就打開封面，看到空白頁寫了幾行字，原來是二手書。本以為是簽名或題款，再仔細看，天啊，竟然是開車路線， 
擁有這本書的仁兄或仁姐，沒有紙頭可以用，竟然在一本新書上記開車路線，顯然對這本書沒什麼珍惜之意。 
真是本虎落平陽的書，怎會落到這種人手上？真是遇人不淑啊 
而且要價只要$ 7.00，想買下來，只是那個封面哦，
